Sunday, August 05, 2012

Realizing That No One Really Cares

The sooner that you learn that no one cares the better off you will be.  When I say no one cares, it doesn’t mean about you or your well-being but you and your dreams.  It applies to entrepreneurs.  It doesn’t apply to Olympic athletes.  It doesn’t apply to help you need for your 9 to 5 job, if you’re sick, or if your car breaks down.  It applies specifically to your entrepreneurial vision.  

No one cares because they can’t see what you see.  If they could, they wouldn’t be slaving away at a job that they hate every day of their lives.  If they cared, they would be trying to help you, asking how things are going, and calling you up with suggestions. 
It’s not their fault.  It doesn’t’ mean they don’t love you, it’s just that your dream is not tangible to them.  

If you were working toward a promotion at your 9to5, that’s tangible.  As a society we are conditioned to that behavior.  Work hard and get a crappy 5% raise, maybe 7% or 2% in this economy.  People believe that will happen.  They are trained to work more hours and you will most likely get a raise.  We are even trained that 5% is good.  There is no problem getting help to support that. 
However, if it’s a situation that society is not conditioned to, like starting your own business…most people don’t get it, and some people who do just want to see you fail.  HARSH, but true. 
If you are creating a website of some sort, don’t expect anyone to be on board until it takes off and start bringing in revenue.  If you are starting a brick and mortar, don’t expect anyone to pay attention until you land a client, get a big check or do something drastic like Mortgage the house to pay for your first years expenses.  Oh…I bet people are all ears now.  

If you think I’m joking, let me prove it to you.  Go right now to facebook and write about what you are currently working on and see how many people send you something encouraging.  Maybe 1 or 2 if you are lucky.  Then wait a few hours and post a Meme (a funny viral picture), half of your friends will be hitting like, and sharing that mess making all types of dumb comments.    You get more support from a shaved cat, then you launching your own enterprise.  

Again, on facebook if you are launching a website and you write, “Hey guys, I’m launching my new site today, check it out”.  You might get 10 or 15 hits.  But if you put, “Wow, just stumbled on to this site and it’s off the hook!”.  If there is no clear association to you and people realize that you are not benefiting from it, then they will visit it, bookmark it, and visit that site every day. 
Believe it or not, subconsciously people won’t visit your site because they don’t want to see you get ahead.  They don’t even realize that they are doing it.  SCAREY! 

The reason for this post is to help you focus more and conserve energy.  As a hustler you need everything you can muster to sustain your work load and keep yourself focused.  If you are working a full time 9to5 then you need your energy even more.   This means you can’t waste energy trying to convince and prove those around you how good your idea is.   How hard you’re working.  Just how things are coming along.  You have to stop wasting time trying to rationalize to them, why you need to work, or how much work is left to be done.  They won’t understand because they don’t want to understand. 
Those who do understand, keep them close, and use them as fuel.  Keep them updated on your milestones and progress.  Value those people, because they are rare and they care.  

This is a doozy!  This is easily the 2nd biggest problem for an entrepreneur.  Money is first, significant other ‘s /family support is 2nd.  If you significant other gets your vision, believes in you and your goals whole heartedly, then you already have a distinct advantage.  You have your Michelle Obama and are ready to take over the world.  

If not, my first suggestion is to try to bring them on board.  Tell them and show them what you are working on, and explain your long term vision and how it will benefit you, him or her, and your kids.  Try again and again.  

If they can’t see the vision, my advice is to stop talking about it as much.  If your wife or husband sees your entrepreneurial endeavors aka “Your Hustle” as “time away from the family” or “you getting to do what you want to do”, you “Playing Games”

If he or she understood how serious this was, and how if it worked out, it would benefit the whole family they would be on board.  There would be no convincing.  When the topic of support is brought up you wouldn't hear things like,  “Well I don’t say anything when you sit on the computer for hours”.  That’s called tolerating.  Tolerating and supporting are not the same thing.  

Support is when you are working and they ask if you need anything.  They ask if you are hungry, they ask if there is something that you can do to help.  Supporting is not whining for them to come to bed, complaining that you don’t get to fall asleep next to them.  That is called making them choose between you and their dream.  

Do what I’ve done, simply cut them out.  Until you get to a point where they understand your vision and how big it is, don’t talk about.  It will only drive a wedge in between you two.  You want more then anyone in the world for this person to believe in you and be on board but it can’t happen so don’t force it.  

It will be hard at first because this is all you are about.  You are sleeping, eating , sh@#tting your dreams and you can’t share them.  But you will see that once you refrain from talking about it, and just quietly executing your mission, they will then grow interested.  Then you only give them a little.  Play that game all the way to the bank.

I’m speaking from experience.  Ever since I stopped talking about my projects with my fiance’ we have found peace.  Once she sees how much money everything is earning she will then believe and start to support instead of tolerate.  Then I will be stronger then ever.