Monday, December 07, 2009


People have become so used to not being happy that they barely even notice it. (I'm guilty of this as well). It's like living next to a train track or an airport. After awhile you don't even notice the sound how loud the trains and planes are. It takes a visitor to come and point it out to you. "How the hell do you live with all that noise?" Your reply is, "It's not that bad".

Not to say that your or my life is miserable, but fear can prevent it from being all that it can be. We are bioligically susceptible to fear. This is the greatest enemy of true happiness. Fear has many crippling disguises. It surfaces as anger, pessimism depression, feelings of isolation, etc..

When we were children we didn't care about fear because the price of failure wasn't high at all. We weren't called a loser, we just didn't win. As we got older, society begin to judge our failures. Or better yet, we begin to LET society judge our failures. If you didn't make the basketball team, or football team then you would have to face all your friends. That's the beginning of fear starting to get a grip on your life. It was easier not to try out for the team and be cool, rather then try out and not make it and be embarassed. Yep, that was my personal experience. I was still cool and funny, no one knew that I couldn't play football - in fact I didn't even know if I could play or not. Because I never played before, it was too risky to my image to try out and not make it. So I played it safe. Who knows, I could have been a professional running back. If you were a naturally gifted athlete you tried out because the risk of failure is small. Who's more successful the gifted quarterback, or the not so gifted guy who works hard, gets cut and then comes back next year and makes the team? let's not forget, Michael Jordan got cut from his high school team.

So I think it's important that we conquer our fear, without doing that, we are not getting the best out of life that we can. True happiness will continue to elude us.

OK - Example time.
I have been burnt pretty bad in my past relationships. Now I can easily be jaded by this, and have that affect me in my future relationships or I can have no fear and go for it. Being crippled by fear, you play little games. "I'm not going to call her and show her that I like her because that's giving her the upper hand" That's the game you play when you're 16. Then she doesn't call you, and the next thing you know you both think that you are not into each other. When you are an adult and in control of your fears, you know the relationship that you would like to have and you know that it doesn't stand a chance without you giving 100%, because in your vision of a perfect relationship your mate is giving back 100%. You can't expect to recieve what you don't put out. This doesn't mean that it won't fail. Realistically you can give 100% and it still not work out, you can not control the other person, but if you give 80% because of the fear of putting yourself and your feelings at risk, and it doesn't work out, you should blame only yourself because you could have given 20% more and now it's too late. Remeber if you can dream it, then it's conceptually possible.

That scenario goes with anything. If you don't try and fail you won't succeed. We are missing out on great opportunities because we are scared. Scared of trying and feeling stupid - That is society holding you down. You should only feel stupid if you don't try. I mean really, we are adults, can anyone really make you feel stupid if you don't let them.

In short I'm not telling you to be reckless. Not at all. Listen to your fears. Don't quit your job tomorrow and start a glow in the dark shoelace factory. Don't walk up to the girl you have a crush on and propose, don't sign up for the Mr. Universe contest next month but take your time. Do your homework and work hard. Trust your instincts. God put them there for a reason. If you are dating your future "dream guy or girl" but he appears shady, trust yourself - dont' go signing over $100,000.00 checks ala Nora Walker (for the Brother's and Sister's fans out there).

You know you are moving in the right direction because you will start to feel like a kid again. Trust me. That's how you know you are headed towards happiness and conquering your fears. That's natural. When you're a kid your spirits and dreams are unbridled and unbroken. Your life is led by these spirits rather then controlled by your fears and judgements. As you become more successful, or as you see your dreams becoming a reality these spirits become stronger. When you have 4 steps mapped out to accomplish your goal and you reach the first one you know your goal is achievable. You get the interview for your dream job, you land a certain account for your business, or you meet someone that only existed in previously in your mind. That is fuel for steps 2,3,&4.

You can’t really put a time limit on when you will reach your goals, but what I know for sure is the harder you work the quicker success will come or the quicker failure will come. You might need 3 failures, but after each you Plan again, Work, learn, tweak and repeat. Plan-Work-Learn-Tweak and Repeat. Give 100% to all those steps.
1. Plan with intelligence,
2. Work with dillegence,
3. Learn with curiousity,
4. Tweak with stragtical prowess and
5. Repeat like failure is no option.
I like that - Hey Jim Rohn's not he only one who can make stuff up!!

Do remember: Nothing can resist a man (or woman) who will place even his existence on his purpose.

Translation: If you are not fearful, and you are willing to sacrifice it all, nothing can resist your enevitable path to success.



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