I usually mix up a Movie with a TV series on DVD. The current series happens to be “The Wire” . I know…but better late then never.
Anyway, I happen to think that the movie is fabulously done; another Scorcesee masterpiece. Now, I understand and can appreciate the buzz that was generated at the time of its release to the theaters. If you have seen the movie, great; if you haven’t I will explain something that I just realized.
As Howard Hughes grows in wealth and stature his fear of germs and people spying on him increases. He begans to get very anxious, accusing people of having microphones and weapons. He suffers from ODD where he has to have certain things in certain places. He becomes a compulsive hypochondriac. As I’m watching this cat, I’m like damn! I feel what he’s feeling. There are certain impending events that cause the chest to swell up, and I can’t stop thinking about them. It’s similar to a Tony Soprano style panic attack. I don’t want to fall over into the grill like Tony (The Sopranos’s Season One), and I can’t afford an annoying voiced frog faced physiatrist like Tony, so I have to do some self analysis.
I began to write down all the times I feel stressed. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not feeling like a little bitch…on the contrary, I’m feeling like I’m quick to whoop somebody’s ass!
My lists began to look like the following in order of smallest panic to largest:
1. Phone ringing
2. Guest coming over
3. Sunday night – Thinking about starting the work week.
4. Going away for a weekend
5. Away from home, and my apt isn’t spotless
Looking at the list I realize a slight trend. The anxiety comes with my level of preparedness. If I am expecting a guest, and I am fully ready to receive that guest, then I’m not anxious. If my apartment is spotless then I’m calm and cool. If I’m going away for the weekend, and I create a list and handle everything, and I mean everything, then I am enjoying myself.
Part of the anxiety with the phone is running a small business. You can get a call at any moment and be out a couple thousand bucks. Something broke down, a client dropped us, the IRS. If that’s not cause for anxiety then I don’t know what is.
I can see why some people and bands are particular about their riders (riders are lists of wants a star requests for their dressing room. I have taken the liberty of posting a few riders below. Take note of Busta-Rhymes Condom and KFC requests) and why really successful people are so anal. They need to be prepared. Some are undoubtly spoiled but others need things precise, completed, and prepared.
After watching the Aviator I began embracing this anxiety thing, because it forces me to step up my game. I have created lists now, that I have to accomplish. This insures that I’m keeping my game at an A level and the since of calm I get from completing the list is like…..is like……smokin a phatty on the beach with Bob Marley himself……or lookin’ at your bank statement with six zeroes, a new fully paid for CLS parked in your driveway…smoking a phatty rolled by Snoop dog with week from Bob Marley’s personal stash. Of course I wouldn’t know, I hear there is a chance that weed makes you skip a beat, and as hustler that wouldn’t be conducive to my hustlers syndrome.
Now Howard Huges had a mental illness, but if hustling is a disease, then call me cancer.
When you don’t have that anxiety, I think you have officially surrendered your game which we will never do. Rich or Nothing people, No surrender no Retreat.
Summer’s almost here, let’s get that money!
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