That’s right, yours truly am off to the orient. Do you know what that means: Chinese food – Right around the corner, Made in China, let me know I’ll bring you one back. Chopsticks and Arithmetic, High kicks and Back flips. Now that I have violated every stereotype let us proceed.
REASON FOR THE TREASON
The Company I work for has a Korean office. Our Korean division is building a Manufacturing facility in China. The Chinese and the Koreans do not get along (historical reasons); therefore I am the technical go between until our Chinese customers feel confident that our Koreans can handle the gig. I will start off in Seoul Korea for 2 days, and then travel to Shanghai for three. When I leave I will have everyone holding hands singing kumbaya. I will have those Chinamen and Korean's bee-boppin and Collar poppin together. Shanghai will be known as Shanghizzle!
The first obstacle was getting my work Visa. My boss tells me I will never get a work visa in a week. "A work Visa!" no one told me I needed that. As usual my boss was completely wrong and useless. You can get a work Visa in two days. All you need is a written and signed invitation from the inviting company. In fact, mine is ready to be picked up right now (prepared by a little cutie I might add, I will definitely try and look smooth when I pick my papers up on Friday. I will let you know if I get anywhere with that.)
Second issue: my flight. For five glorious minutes I was traveling first class. I was the M-A-N. First to Board, Big Leather Seats, Ice Cream Desserts, I even heard you get a Menu! Then I received my itinerary. Coach! There was a window seat, an aisle seat, and a little picture of a guy sitting on a crate. That was my seat. Flight time 4 hrs to Seattle 14.5 hrs to Seoul. Are you kidding me? What if I eat something that gives me the runs? What will I do for 14.5 hours? Ladies and Gentlemen, I have ADHD. In a chair for 14.5 hours, I'm insane just thinking about it. ........Sir would you like some nuts, " I AM NUTZ", Sir would you like a pillow, "BICTH I'M CRAZY”, Sir would you like some headphones, " I'M CRAZY, I'M CRAZY". Of course I will suck it up and endure the insanity like the professional I am.
For all you dirty minded guys, No I'm not going to hit anything in China or Korea. I'm not trying to get some Chinese herpes bump on my goodies. I have enough to worry about without my health. Plus, that's just not my style. I will however get my mingle on. I'll be like Chris Tucker in Rush Hour 2.
Shanghizzle here I come!